Detox- Lets You Feel the Difference… Right?

Here is another food oriented post, though I suppose breatharianism is more about a lack of it. And trust me, not even I was aware this detox business was such a nest of maggots.

First: detoxification to get you started on recovery from drug or alcohol abuse is one thing which I approve of. This is carried out in clinics under medical supervision and this is a well-established thing. So far so good, but there is another kind of detox written about frequently in health magazines and overflowing Google when you search for it. It’s the detox to lose weight and eliminate ‘toxins’ from your body, which might actually kill you in the process- or at least leave you significantly poorer but not really any thinner. Or cleaner.

Let’s have a little looksee.

So called detox food

So called detox food

Why do you need a detox?

Because (apparently) you might be tired, bloated, congested and full of toxins. Oh, or your colon might be full of hardened feces(?!), which both can spread posion in your body and prevent it from absorbing nutrition.

This can be removed by a detox, apparently. But that is not all!

What are you promised to gain from a detox?

According to NOSH , you will be given this:

Losing weight on a detox is simply one of the by-products of eating good, healthy food. Primarily you detox in order to bring your body up to its optimum functioning levels. You will see improvements in your mental processes, sleeping habits, energy levels, and beyond.

Obviously this sounds pretty amazing, until you start reading the smallprint. So all the benefits of a detox are byproducts of eating good and healthy food? It’s not that they are a product of having a healthy diet and ‘detoxing’ has nothing to do with it at all? It feels as if somebody is just trying to make money on well, serving people normal, classic food. Anyway, I checked their shop and you can buy a 7 day detox program with nutritional food for £307.79.

Or why not try their Body Smooth & Tone programme for one day? Then you will get:

A gut healing, collagen full, toxin-mopping, fat-busting, skin smoothing virtuoso of a diet programme.

We deliver a breakfast smoothie, an antioxidant snack, a protein rich lunch, a superfood smoothie with all your vitamins and minerals of the day and a soup at night to mop up toxins and rest your intestine.

The price (for one day) is £42.97. A bargain? Probably not. I wonder how much money they make on this crap?

The founder of this site is a healer and Medical Intiutive. What is that? According to Wikipedia:

A medical intuitive is an alternative medicine practitioner who uses their self-described intuitive abilities to find the cause of a physical or emotional condition.

Sounds completely safe, right, to put my nutritional care in her? I googled the term and I got up a lot of sites about it, and Wikipedia is right. I feel dirty just thinking about it.

By the way, I put the site into the Quackometer and it received 5 Canards:

Web site titled ‘Nosh Detox
The black duck says…
The quacking noise is deafening. This web site is riddled with loosely defined terms and possibly pseudoscientific language. It shows no sceptical awareness and so should be treated with a suspicious mind.

Enough to make me suspicious as the Quackometer is neutral and works based on keywords.

How do you know if you need a detox, then?

According to the site Dr Natura, if you experience any of these symptoms you are in grave need of one:

  • Lethargy and low energy
  • Flatulence, gas and bloating
  • Excess weight gain
  • Digestive problems
  • Irritability and mood swings
  • Bad breath
  • Strong-smelling stools
  • Detoxification & body detox
  • Inflammation of the colon – Diverticulitis
  • Colonics
  • Recurring headaches
  • Constipation
  • Bloated belly
  • Strong food cravings
  • Skin problems
  • Metallic taste in the mouth
  • Vitamin & supplements
  • Flatter stomach
  • Fibre / Psyllium

Not sure why ‘Detoxification & body detox’, ‘vitamins & supplements’ or ‘flatter stomach’ are signs you need a detox, but there you go. They also claim that:

Research has evidently shown that our bodies are not capable of eliminating the variety of chemicals and toxins that we ingest and inhale on a daily basis. These harmful waste products simply build up in our cells (particularly our fat cells), tissues, blood and organs (such as the colon, liver and brain) and can remain stored indefinitely, causing all sorts of implications for our health.

But there is no link or reference to this ‘research’. The same is true for many of these sites. They talk of research, but what research? Where is this research?

This site goes on by saying:

Do you know of anyone who would not like to be healthy, young and full of energy? I don’t think so. But how do you maintain health, the freshness and vitality of youth and avoid diseases – which concern all of us, causing troubles and pain? The only way to achieve this goal (apart from eating properly) is by doing a regular body detox, in order not to contaminate the body or choke it with toxic poisons and waste. Body detox is a preventative process. If it becomes a regular part of your lifestyle it’ll prevent various diseases. Moreover, it slows down the aging process.

I know it sounds really good, as they say: who wouldn’t want all that? But when you start to analyse they even say themselves that the only way to achieve it all is to eat properly, if you don’t do a detox- which doesn’t work anyway. I do wonder though where they found the claim that it slows down aging. And by the way, Dr Natura received 10 canards! I think that is some sort of record.

Web site titled ‘Detoxification: Colonix is the best detox program for bowel and colon cleanse’

The black duck says…

This web site is heavily laden with loosely defined terms and possibly pseudoscientific language with a smattering of alternative medicine speak. It is heavily using scientific jargon and may be doing this to bamboozle. Using lots of physics terms like this rarely has any meaning outside of physics books. It shows little or no sceptical awareness and so should be treated with caution! It also looks like this site is trying to sell stuff. Buyer Beware!

My my my.

This site have similar claims. If you experience anything of below symptoms you need a detox:

Who needs to detox?
Anyone who experiences some of the following symptoms will benefit from undergoing a detox programme. The more you experience, the more you need help.
– age spots
– bad breath
– digestive problems
– excess weight
– headaches
– mood swings
– tiredness
– skin disorders
– dull skin and hair
– sluggish metabolism.
Once you’ve completed your detox, your body will feel and look great – and people will notice.

Some sad basil I have at home. It’s probably great for ‘detox’. Why not? Most things seem to be.

Another site again, Gaiam Life, says this, quoting some researchers:

How do you know if you need to detoxify?
Bennett suggests that everyone should detox at least once a year. A short detoxifying program or whole body cleanse is generally safe; in fact, scientific studies show that a detox is beneficial for health. […]
Today, with more toxins in the environment than ever, “it’s critical to detox,” says Linda Page, N.D., Ph.D., the author of Detoxification (Healthy Healing Publications). Page recommends detoxing for symptoms such as unexplained fatigue, sluggish elimination, irritated skin, allergies or low-grade infections; bags under the eyes; a distended stomach even if the rest of your body is thin; menstrual difficulties; or mental confusion.

First let me point out why this is so dangerous.

‘Menstrual difficulties’ can be anything ranging from something fairly harmless to endometriosis.

‘Mental confusion’; what does that even mean? Some people with this ‘mental confusion’ might in fact need medical psychological help- not a detox! So, who is Linda Page, the doctor? Why, according to her site Healthy Healing (5 canards), she holds degrees in Naturopathy and Holistic Nutrition from Clayton College of natural health.

Naturopathy and holistic nutrition? Let me remind you again of how many people have died of that shit. According to What’s The Harm, 200 people have been injured and a fair amount of them died by naturopathic ‘treatments’.

And that college? It has apparently been closed down. Why? Because it was an infamous diploma mill.
I can’t say I’m surprised. So, in other words, this woman pretending to be a doctor dishing out ‘detox remedies’ is potentially really dangerous. It doesn’t matter that she smiles in her picture, though, since I have done some studies in body language it is pretty clear it’s not even a real smile. Fancy that! Not even her smile is for real.

So how do you go about a detox?

A first step for your detox, according to Gaiam Life is this:

Eat plenty of fiber, including brown rice and organically-grown fresh fruits and vegetables. Beets, radishes, artichokes, cabbage, broccoli, spirulina, chlorella, and seaweed are excellent detoxifying foods.

As step ten they have this:

What is the most important way to detoxify? “Exercise,” says Bennett. “Yoga or jump-roping are good. One hour every day.” Also try Qigong, a martial-arts based exercise system that includes exercises specifically for detoxifying or cleansing, as well as many other exercises with specific health benefits.

Oh my goodness. Good food and exercise? It’s like a whole new thing. This is novelty stuff, this is.

This site also lists a lot of vegetables and fruits to detox, but then it also lists processed things like quorn and tofu. Which is pretty strange to me. But what do I know?

So, now you know why you would need a detox. And included in this detox procedure is often a colon cleanse. I mean… why would anybody want to go through that voluntarily? Apparently you need this colon cleanse because, according to the site (8 canards!) it’s really important your bowels are clean if they are to perform their tasks. Seriously? Why would my body, which is awesome in all its processes, not be able to do this on its own? After the colon cleanse, you should, apparently:

[…} regularly exercise, get fresh air and sunshine, enough sleep, and take up some form of meditation. The Convenient Method of meditation from Supreme Master Ching Hai can be learned online from here.

Really? That is totally new for me with regards to keeping healthy. And see, they make some advertisement for their classes there too! There is no end to how effective these fellas are.

Though I can’t deny the symptoms you might be suffering because you need a ‘detox’ are pretty scary. However, there is something which is very interesting here… Want to know?

The symptoms they list as being symptoms of toxins in your body are very similar to these:

  • weakening of the muscles, which then begin to waste away
  • feeling tired all the time and lacking energy
  • increased vulnerability to infection
  • delayed wound healing
  • dizziness
  • irritability
  • your nails become brittle
  • your skin becomes dry and flaky
  • persistent diarrhoea
  • depression
  • in women, periods become irregular or stop altogether

Do you know what those symptoms represent? They are clear signs of malnourishment in adults. I fetched them from the NHS (National Health Service) website. Malnutrition is something we commonly associate with starving children, for example, but let us have a look at what malnutrition means:

Malnutrition is a serious condition that occurs when a person’s diet does not contain enough nutrients to meet the demands of their body.

Right, what does this mean in reality? It means that if you are a person who does not get enough nutrition in your food, you will become malnourished. This means that even if you are over-weight you can be malnourished because you don’t get enough of proteins, vitamins and minerals. Now, how much of this do you think you get if you eat too much junk food? Not a lot. So, plenty of people can actually be malnourished because of junk food and when they start to eat the detox stuff of fruit and vegetables, of course they will notice a massive difference- because they are no longer starving and their bodies are rejoicing. However, they are not detoxified because there is no such thing. They’re just… normal again.

Let’s have a look at the scary thing this might result in: malnourishment can be a symptom of serious diseases such as HIV. Now imagine if some self-proclaimed detox expert tell a HIV positive person to start a detox program because this person suffers malnourishment as a symptom of their disease. In worst case scenario that person would die because the illness was not treated. Pretty nasty scenario, right? The scary bit is that it’s not at all impossible.

Along this line, claim:

Some other things that may be removed during a detox are parasites, heavy metals, tumors, cancerous cells, or anything the body sees as toxic that it has been holding onto.

This is extremely dangerous if people don’t seek medical care, which may be the case if you are severely ill but trying to deny it to yourself; and in fact 10 people have died and 7 been injured from detox according to Whatstheharm.

Anyway, by now we are all dying to know:
Are there toxins in your body and can you remove them by detox?

According to the Skeptic’s Dictionary, we find this:

The fact is that most of us are carrying around in our bodies traces of many toxic substances. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention published a study in 2005 that evaluated more than 2,000 people across the country. Traces of more than 60 toxic compounds were found in the blood and urine of participants. Nobody really knows what these substances are doing to our bodies, including the many people who want to sell us products promising to get rid of these allegedly nasty things.

My guess is that yes, perhaps we have traces of toxins but if we do then they are soaked up and incorporated into our muscles and a hundred oranges won’t make them go away. So stop falling for the tricks of these sites, desperate to trick you out of your money! They don’t care if you go bankrupt or die, as long as they get your hard earned pennies.

Some grapes I have at home. I eat a lot of grapes. Perhaps that is why I am so detoxofied? Or am I?!

Detox Retreat – Expensive and Dangerous

Just to show you my point, let me introduce you to one of the ‘detox retreats’ first up on Google when I searched:
Homefield Grange

I had a look at all of their staff, and none was actually medically educated. One was a naturopath and we all know by now what that means. It received 8 canards, and it’s superbly expensive. For their ultimate detox program of 7 days, you will have to pay between £995 and £1425 depending on which sort of room you want. And for that you get a lot of information from people with no medical background of how to care for your body. All I can say is:

NO! What is that shit?!

Let’s go shopping

One last thing, I put together a shopping list at Tesco with healthy food for a person for a week, much like the packages mentioned above. It might need a bit of tweaking to get some more variation and be enough for all the lunches, so add perhaps food for another £5. Anyway, it contained:

  • 2 red peppers £1.6
  • 400 g beef medallion steaks (enough for four servings) £4.24
  • 1 Organic Chicken (2 kg, actually enough for an entire week’s food for one person) £11.18
  • 2 pints milk £0.89
  • 1 Cheese (Cheddar, 450 g) £3
  • 250 g butter for cooking and sandwiches £1.4
  • 250 g mozzarella cheese £1.75
  • 10 freerange eggs £3
  • 0,3 kg ginger root (great for cooking) £0.63
  • 1 Garlic £0.63
  • 1 red chili £0.65
  • 1 Courgette £0.31
  • 1 bundle of Asparagus £1.5
  • 260 g baby spinach £1
  • 1 kg potatos £1
  • 2 onions £0.38
  • 600 g carrots £0.78
  • 500 g cabbage £0.36
  • 3 broccoli £1,5
  • 4 oranges £2
  • 7 bananas £0.86
  • 7 apples £2.07

The price? £40 (perhaps £45 then). Pretty cool, huh. Pretty much the same as a day’s cost of ‘detox food’ that I listed above and I can guarantee this is just as healthy for your body.

My dog Zigvard never detoxes. And neither do I.

That’s it for me tonight folks. Have a great evening and don’t soak up too much toxins (<– sarcastic again).

If you want to know more, this site provides a lot of stuff about why it’s a hoax.



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