This has been bugging me lately and although at first I thought it didn’t belong on my blog, I then decided it did because, as with the rest of the stuff here, what I am about to present to you is as much a myth. Even though we are now fast approaching 2013 there still seem to be some idea held that women are only out there to satisfy the needs and wants of men.
Is this the case?
Here is why:
BECAUSE WE ARE PEOPLE.
Why do I even have to say that aloud?
Is that so tough to understand? Let me illustrate a scenario for you that happened about six months ago.
Above is really true. I was (notice past tense) friends with a guy and suddenly he asked if we should have sex. I grew absolutely furious whereupon he tried to blame his blunder on me, claiming I had encouraged him even though I really had not because I wasn’t bleedin’ attracted to him at all. I had merely been kind and civil because I regarded him as a friend. This, then, had been completely misinterpreted as me wanting to screw his brains out and I should have understood this because, as he said, and I quote:
You know what I’m like.
Right, so I should take into consideration that he is incapable of having a normal conversation with a woman without thinking she encourages him to sleep with him? It’s not he that needs to re-evalute himself and the way he views women? Obviously not (see! Mocking again!).
The problem that I face with men is an interesting one in a way. See, I am pretty genetically blessed because I am very attractive, blonde and thin. Of course I am grateful for this but I am always objectified. I have, literally, had these kinds of conversation (no alcohol involved):
‘Can we have sex?’ – over work email, and a different guy than the one illustrated above.
‘But I think that you are hot so I want to sleep with you.’
Really? So you think I’m hot and therefore I should cater to your desires? No thanks. Not to mention the classic about food. Same guy as the one just mentioned when we ended up on the bus to the station together:
‘You like cooking right?’
‘You should invite me for dinner!’
Why on earth would I want to do that? Why do men think that just because a woman likes to cook that she wants to cook for him? That is madness. That happens 99% of the times that men find out I like to cook. Just a couple of days ago I chatted to a guy I (veeeeery briefly) contemplated meeting with for a date when he asks if I like cooking. I said yes, mostly just to test it, which, on cue, makes him deliver the line:
‘So when can I taste your food?’
NEVER. I completely lost interest and he lost any chance for a date. But he just assumed that I would cater to his wishes and desires because that is what women are expected to do. It seems he assumed I would be flattered that he wants me to cook him a gourmet meal.
I have had it.
So, you argue now, that if I have such problems with this then perhaps I should gain some weight, stop showering and not say I like cooking. Perhaps I should instead say I like to bite my toe-nails in public and then I’d be left alone. But why, why, should I have to do that? Why can’t I be myself without 99% of the males in my vicinity believing I want them to ravage my body?
Now you get to your other ‘point’: they’re just trying to give you compliments.
Maybe that is true but they should reflect on how they are perceived in that case because I don’t appreciate it. Not a single bit- and when I get a real compliment I get happy and warm inside and I say ‘thank you’. This happened last Friday when I was chatting to a guy on Facebook that I’m just beginning to get to know. He wrote to me:
Please don’t take this the wrong way, but you really are exceptionally pretty.
I still smile when I think about that, and when he had written that I smiled for the rest of the day because that was a heartfelt, honest and beautiful compliment. Not some smarmy shit aimed to get into my bed- or to my stove. This is why this still belongs on my blog, because this really is, plain and simple: shit that people (men) say and do. Get a grip, guys, and stop talking bullshit.